Testing My Patience...

As some of my faithful readers may or may not have known, over the past few months I have been studying for the GMAT in order to potentially "turn back the clock" and assume the role of a fulltime student once again. After endless hours of studying, taking numerous seemingly worthless 3 hour courses, and choosing "c" on multiple choice-driven practice answers based solely upon the fact that it's my favorite letter between A-E, I finally took the test last Saturday. However, as is typical with stories involving me, it wasn't so cut-and-dry. Here's the story of why I almost MISSED the GMAT (via timestamp). Enjoy.

9:00-11:15 AM Wake up bright and early (for me) and do a little last-minute cramming while treating myself to a little Sportscenter (it had been a looong time) and some freshly cut pineapple.

11:15-11:30 AM Shower, brush teeth, boring. While in shower, I decide that since it's SO hot outside (about 95 degrees with extremely high humidity), I will ride my bicycle to my 12:30 PM test. This way, I believe I will not only spend less time in the summer heat, but I may even catch a breeze to cool me down a bit.

11:45 AM After "Drooke Dreltzman,"* my roommate/girlfriend leaves the apartment to head out to lunch with a friend, I play with the dog we are dogsitting in an attempt to relax and achieve a zen-like approach to the test.

11:50 AM As I was told numerous times to arrive at the testing center 30 minutes early, I head out to the backyard to hop on my bike and prepare for my 3 min ride to the testing center.

11:51 AM While in the backyard, quickly realize that I forgot the key to open the door to the gate in my backyard "terrace." I head back to the backdoor to retrieve the key.

11:52 AM While trying to open the backdoor, I suddenly realize that I don't have a key to the backdoor either. At this point, I become aware of the fact that I am trapped in my own backyard....

11:53 AM In the midst of sweat beginning to pool onto my forehead, I begin making phone calls to everyone I know within a half-mile radius of my apartment. This includes Drooke Dreltman (8-12 times, depending on if you include hangups), "Flon Flyder," "Reg Roucher," "Krate Kroucher," and my landlord, "Greff" a few times. Pacing is involved, as are questions of how I may be able to hop a 10 foot fence (or dig under said fence) in order to create an escape route.

12:10 PM Resigned with the fact that (I had already gone through each of the stages of loss, including denial, anger, and sadness) I would be missing the GMAT test, I attempt to come up with an answer to the question "Why didn't you take the GMAT today," because I know that "I decided to lock myself in my own backyard terrace" was not really gonna work. My final resolution? Just don't say anything...

12:20 PM SUCCESS! "Greff," my landlord, listened to his voicemail and comes home and unlocks the back door, freeing me from my makeshift holding cell. I run up through the house (patting the dog's head for good luck), head outside, and begin my sprint up Berkeley Street to the testing center...in my flip flops...in 95 degree heat.

12:26 PM I arrive at the test center with 4 minutes to spare!! Unfortunately, my clothes have taken a turn for the worse. My shirt is entirely soiled with sweat, rivaling that of Kevin Youkilis in a day game, I'm dripping sweat onto the paperwork which needs to be signed beforehand to verify my identity, and I'm panting much like the dog I'm sitting had been all day earlier, all direct effects of my flip-flop sprint in 90+ degree heat. The employee at the testing center takes one look at me, shakes her head, and says "I don't even wanna know....".

All in all, the test went generally how I expected it would go. My score was expected, and not great by any means (barely qualifying as "good"), but at least I surpassed my own expectations a bit. Not that I believe my score would have improved, but sweating profusely, tardiness, and borderline physical exhaustion aren't exactly at the tip of anyone's tongue when the phrase "ideal testing conditions" comes to mind.

Just another Saturday, I guess....

* Note: all names have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved in this story.