Pardon my Seinfeldian-style rant, but I'd like to take a little time out of your day to discuss a particular phenomenon to which I still cannot seem to understand (I apologize in advance to my female reader(s) for this entry) - men who decide to use the bathroom stall to urinate (for some reason, use of the word "pee" sounds effeminate to me) when there is an open urinal.
"Gotta go to the john and introduce Mr. Thick Dick to Mr. Urinal Cake."
- Roman Craig, "The Great Outdoors"
Don't get me wrong here - there are definitely a couple scenarios in which I would partake in this as well. Namely:
A. If there are no available urinals (only an idiot would wait for one).
B. If there are only 3 urinals, and the middle one is taken (I try to abide by a one urinal buffer zone for reasons of comfort, as they are anything but spacious...or, if I'm at some type of event where the person next to me is intoxicated enough to the point where they may be missing their target).
*Please note that in any scenario where I would resort to the use of a stall, I see no reason to ever close and/or lock the bathroom stall door. Ever.
So I guess my question is, what would lead someone to not only consistently use a bathroom stall when a urinal is open, and not only do this, but go as far as to lock said bathroom stall? Are you such a bad shot that you don't even want to risk it? Do you have such extreme low self-confidence that you can't use a urinal (note - most people i've seen do this actually seem rather normal aesthetically)? Are these the same people that change into their clothes in a bathroom stall at the gym? What else does this mean from a social norm standpoint?
I figure that since you're already in there, why not just get it done while sitting down? To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure a guy who pisses sitting down is any weirder, and, hey - at least you can relax for a minute and maybe read an article or two, or catch your breath for a minute.
But don't let me stop you from doing something incredibly odd - we all have our quirks. I mean, you are talking to the guy who feels like his food has been contaminated, and thus is inedible, should one portion of his meal ever touch a different piece of food on his plate. Next time I see someone close the door on a bathroom stall when there are a couple open urinals next to me, I'll try not to judge....
