Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Social Etiquette

Although some people may refer to me as a bit socially awkward (admittedly, I have never been able to understand this), I still feel like my mother raised me properly in terms of proper etiquette in a social situation. For instance, I present to you the following few examples:

- I always allow women to enter the elevator before me.

- I always say "bless you" (though I can't pull the "god bless you," as I feel like it borders on religious doctrine) or "to your good health" or "you are
so good looking" after someone sneezes.

-I always make sure women order before me in a restaurant.

-I always turn the lights on before entering a room (on second thought...perhaps this is just more common sense than etiquette).

-I write thank you notes or provide gifts when staying at other peoples' homes (full disclosure: only when parents are involved).

As I hope you perceive, this list runs on and on.

However, there is one social behavior that I still haven't learned the correct answer to, if any. Allow myself to explain....myself??

Here is the conundrum (I wish I could visually display this with a picture or a diagram): As you walk out of a building, there are 3 different doors you must walk through, all separated by a maximum distance of about 1-3 feet each. You are not walking alone, however - there is always someone directly in front of you passing through each of these doors as well. Assuming this person (who, in order to maintain a level of anonymity, I will refer to as "Marock Mobama") follows proper etiquette norms, they willingly and patiently hold every door for you as you walk behind them through each. Now, here's my question - WHEN DO YOU SAY "THANK YOU" to the door holder? Here are a few different scenarios:

1. You say "thank you" only after the 1st door - but wouldn't you look like a total asshole if you don't say "thank you" for the other two?

2. You hold off your "thank you's" until you reach the 3rd door - but wouldn't the person lose motivation to hold the 2nd and 3rd doors for you? He/she would perceive you're taking his/her actions for granted, and potentially stop the door-holding process after the 2nd door (as you may be able to tell, a pet peeve of mine is people that do not say "thank you" to me for holding the door, just assuming I am supposed to for them.)

3. You say "thank you" only after the 2nd door, and do not pay your respects, so to say, after the 1st and 2nd door - now this is just ridiculous. If someone does this, there's a little something else wrong with you than just poor etiquette.

4. You say "thank you" after each door - but isn't this a little niceness overkill? I mean, do you really need to say three "thank you's" within three seconds? I always feel somewhat uncomfortable doing this, though I usually use this routine more often than not; it's just safer.

Come to think of it, this also goes for one of my prior examples - what if it's a double, or even the dreaded triple sneeze? Do you wait until after multiple sneezes to give the old sneeze response? Or do you pull the old rapid fire "bless you" after each explosion?

These, my friends, are the important questions which need to be answered.

Note: Why did you assume that Barock Obama was the person walking in front of me?? It wasn't him; it's just a name....

3 comments:

Unknown said...

hmmm.. I would say after door 1, a loud and hearty "thank you!" is good. After the second, I may give a quiet "thanks..." with a closed-mouth smile (only if theyre looking at me, of course). After the 3rd, it's really a judgment call... If they are receptive to your thank you's and looking, I may give a head nod. If they arent looking, I would squeak through the final door and get the hell out of there. It's not like you need them for a 4th door...

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sarah said...

Very impressive list Matty.

I personally do the dreaded 3 thank you's in a row. The last of the three is usually a "thanks" with a smile.