Real World: Cancun

As much as people dislike me for doing this, once again, I've chosen that I will be the "authority" when it comes to the Real World. I will be using my blog as a forum for my thoughts on each episode, starting with the premiere episode tonight in Cancun. As I've said before, if you are looking for an episode summary, look elsewhere....there are enough places to find that.

So, in no order of importance, here are my initial thoughts on each cast member:

Derek: Didn't get get a good read on him besides the fact that he is openly gay, was adopted and works at a bar. Think we got about 3 words out of him, and 2 involved Jonna being slutty in her past (which is fine with me). Seems like a good guy, and the straight dudes seem to have no problems with him, which is a nice change of pace.

Jonna: Pretty hot, but seriously, relax with the piercings, Jonna. Not only do you have those weird ones on your back, but your "promise piercing"?? You have to be kidding me. I mean, a promise ring is bad enough, but a promise piercing blows it out of the water. Can we set an over/under on how long it takes for her to cheat on her boyfriend? I'm giving it 3 weeks.

Joey: First of all, feel free to correct me, but since when has "Merrimack Valley, MA" been an actual town? Why not just get it over with and say you're from Lawrence (full disclosure - I got this info from the MTV website)? I somewhat question how "hard-core" punk he is even with all those tattoos, but I'll tell you this much - he is definitely the house favorite for pissing every single cast member off at one point or another. Has the ability to be a genuine asshole when he wants to. I also don't understand how he had the gall to put himself to bed the FIRST NIGHT they go out. I'm going to stay out with my new roomies if I have to pass out on the bar that first night. Gotta give the kid respect though, for hooking up on the 1st night with a pretty cute girl ("Courtnee with 2 E's"). Which brings me to.....

Bronne: Not only did you make out with a cougar at the bar, but A. the cougar was completely unattractive, and B. IT WAS COURTNEE'S MOM. Utterly hilarious. That being said, what the hell is a 40 something year old doing in Cancun? Does this happen regularly? I'll need to consult with an experienced spring breaker veteran on this. Anyways, this guy has some real potential to be the funniest guy on the show, and besides the fact that he couldn't hold his booze at the bar, he is definitely my favorite cast member - already came out with a few great lines tonight - his comment about being thankful he has a gay roommate cause he can finally get help with his wardrobe, though a stereotype, was damn funny. Kinda reminds me of Isaac from Australia, but less weird.

Jasmine: Like Derek, don't know much about this girl besides the fact that she's really short. Jury is out on her, but I get the feeling that she is somewhat bitchy when she wants to be. Has pretty much spent all of her time with her new BFF,....

Ayiiia: May be the hottest girl on the show in my book, though her teeth could use some work. If I was her, I would probably hop on a plane and get over the border though, cause I wouldn't trust a Mexican DDS as far as I can throw him (I actually just wanted to use the acronym "DDS" in this blog). I would also like to point out that I think she spells her name wrong - the name is odd enough, but three I's?? Really? I'd just stick with 2. Seems like her and Jasmine are not really interested in hooking up with any guys. I hope this changes, or I hope they start getting interested in hooking up with each other..

CJ: In terms of unintentional comedy, this dude is hilarious. I could not stop laughing at him all show. It's been a long time since I've seen someone so narcissistic on any show, let alone The Real World. You're an NFL Free Agent? Christ, I could have called myself a "free agent" when I graduated from college too, CJ. Love the fact that he does exercises before he goes out to make his arms look bigger, and his leg stretching after he got home from the bar absolutely killed me. I expect big things out of you, CJ. Big things.

Emilee: Once again, don't say you're from Boston - you're from HAMILTON, which is easily 35+ minutes outside of Boston. And I didn't know they let girls with single A cups work at Hooters (by the way, where is there a Hooters in Boston?). And you're 1/4 african american? Sorry, I don't believe it. She is the classic case of a girl who has never seen a gay person before, never seen an african american, never left her little bubble....MTV eats this stuff up, and so do I. And one more thing: SHE IS CRAZY. I'm giving 5-1 odds that this girl is absolutely nuts. Just wait, my friends. On a sidenote, she's pretty hot....

Other General Thoughts:

Cast - MTV - THANK YOU for not only giving us viewers a girl majority with respect to cast members, but making them all semi-attractive at the very least.

House - Pretty sick. Shocker that they have an "ocean view," as from what my friend (a wiley Cancun veteran) says, Cancun is basically a strip, so unless you're staying in the janitor's closet, your hotel is going to have an ocean view. Added bonus that it's located in a hotel. Hello Real World Las Vegas!!

Computer - Are you serious? Talk about a complete lack of privacy. I mean, their computer screen is larger than any television I've ever owned....

Massachusetts - Does anyone think its weird that there are THREE people on the show this season with Massachusetts ties? What. The. Hell. This is either a good thing or a bad thing. I'm yet to determine which....

Profession - Why is EVERY single girl a waitress? Mix it up a bit next time, MTV...